My sister said this to me.  “You hate men and you are always trying to force your gayness on us.  Your other two sisters think the same way about you.”

Today was the fourth of July and the date of our family reunion and I didn’t go.  My family  thinks it’s because I don’t love them enough.  Instead, I spent the day with three lesbian friends, having dinner and being accepted just as I am.  A person who wasn’t  a shadow of herself.  A person who shared aspects of her life even though it included *gasp* gay people.  A person know by many as somebody good and decent – instead of that ugly thing the church whispers in my family’s ears.

My  sister responded in this way because I informed her that our niece, Cathy had told me she was gay.  This niece is presently attending a religious school, in the closet, and is surrounded by other religious closeted people who behave in atrociously unhealthy ways, including violence.  Besides wanting to show her gay people who don’t t live as if they’re abominations, I was glad of the opportunity to share of myself with a family member. 

I told my sister I would let my niece accompany me to a few upscale places, thinking it was a good thing.  The amount of nasty  that came heaving out of her mouth surprised me.  She claimed she was only being honest.  Her words: “Cathy is lying.  She is not gay and is only saying that because she knows that you are and wants to get attention.”  This was followed by words that meant that I would apparently teach my niece to hate men and force being a lesbian on her.

To say her words hurt is an understatement.

Today was Gay Independence Day from my family.  There will be no more longing for what will never be.

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