June 2008


I was channel surfing and came across The Quick And The Dead.  I have watched this movie at least ten times and still feel moved, as if for the first time.  The directing, writing, acting, set design and wardrobe were excellent. The Quick And The Dead is marked as my favorite western and one of my favorite all time movies.

Leonardo Di Caprio was young enough to still look like a hot lesbian and his talent wrapped around him like a shroud. He was just a boy then but his acting was as good as one of the masters. As he said in the movie, “I don’t think you heard me right.  I said I liked ya.” 

Sharon Stone. Her acting was superb.  I was so glad that she had a role in a movie that used her acting ability more than her naked body. And, I have never seen her look so sexy. Those brown leathers spoke my name.  I repeat.  I have never seen her look so sexy.  The sweat and dirt only enhanced her looks.  My favorite scene was one with her and this horrible man who had just abused a girl.  They had a frenzied shoot out in the rain, running towards each other with hell to pay.  Each time I see that scene, I yell to her “Shoot him!  Shoot him!” Picture this – Her stringy, long, gunfighter hair, her wet hat, raindrops sliding down her face.  Priceless.  Sharon, can you please act in another western?  If you do, I’ll bring at least 500 people to the movie opening.

Gene Hackman.  He knows how to show an insane, sadistic gentleman in the best light.  I fell for Gene when he played Lex Luther in Superman.  Watching him in The Quick and The Dead play the town benefactor, destroyer, father figure and fashion icon was such a treat.  He knows how to do horrific the right way.  Like a gentleman.  A sick one, but still, a gentleman.

The final scene.  Sharon Stone.  Dirty.  Her long hair blowing in the wind.  Wearing leathers, spurs, cowboy boots and a long coat.  And get this.  She had short fingernails.  That’s right.  Somebody finally got it right. (Tangent – This makes me think of the Joan Of Arc (was it the movie or the TV series?).  How dare they make a show about a woman that people believe to be a man – and then have it played out in a sissy, girly, lipsticky fashion. Their Joan Of Arc looked like she couldn’t kill a fly – much less lead a war. Joan Of Arc was strong.  Why can’t Hollywood portray strong women properly? End of tangent).

If you haven’t had the pleasure of seeing The Quick And The Dead, give yourself a treat. It’s recommended by me, SteadyCat.

Many years ago, I had a girlfriend that I loved tremendously.  She was from California so whenever I think of the west coast, I think of her.  She was beautiful, intelligent, fun, and many other positive things.  But there was a problem.  She lied about everything. She stole. Eventually, I could not tell what was real and what was my imagination.

One day, because of my desire to survive, I forced distance between us.  When she found out that she had a terminal illness, she contacted me.  I listened to her stories for hours on the phone. The tears I cried were heartfelt.  Still, I kept my distance.  It felt safer.

How do you let go?  You resolve your own pain and sense of betrayal.  Carrying that pain around has got to be the worse form of self punishment ever invented.   My late lesson.  It was my own pain to resolve.  Expecting the other person to do it for me was not realistic.  The journey is to just work out your own stuff.  Figure out why you willingly participated in a damaging relationship. Own it and work it out.  i wish I had done that way earlier in the game.  

R.I.P

Two Wednesdays ago I stopped at my local Sam’s club.  They are now renting out a space to a teeth cleaning company.  They have four reclining chairs and two attractive women to entice you to whiten your smile.  The technician advised me to smile brightly the entire time.  I did.  

While I was reclining, I forgot to keep my hands over my pocket to keep my money safe.  I just kept grinning and letting the blue light shine on my soon to be white teeth. I didn’t dawn on me that the child who climbed underneath my chair was pilfering my cash.  He stole $80.  But that’s another subject, so back to the story about my soon to be pearly whites.

I felt a sharp pain race across a tooth and into my gums.  It felt like a severe electric shock.  The pain was so bad, I gripped the chair for support.  The smiling technician  said “Oh, you must have gotten a zinger.  Usually there are just a few and then they go away.  Don’t worry, they will go away.”  I trusted her and I really wanted white teeth.

I experienced more zingers.  They lasted throughout and my mouth was really hurting. I stayed in the chair because I kept thinking it would be the last one – because I trusted her.  After two back to back 15 minute sessions, the light was turned off and my new teeth were about to be delivered.  I was instructed to take off my mouthpiece.  She said my teeth were whiter but my gums had gotten a little blanched. “Blanched,” I asked.  “A little,” she said.  “All you have to do is put vitamin e-oil on it and it will go away.”

She gave me a q-tip and one capsule of vitamin e along with a mirror.  I looked at my gums.  The top one was white.  I burst several more capsules, hoping it would all go away, just like she’d promised.  I stuck out my tongue and looked underneath.  THE flesh had puffed up into the shape of a boat.  No, a yacht.  The smiling and pretty technician gave me more vitamin e to take home.  My mouth was hurting like hell but the nice lady said it would stop.

By Thursday, I wanted to pull out my mouth and soak it in ice.  being a slow learner, I thought more vitamin e should fix it.  The trained technician knew what she was talking about.  She was trained.  Wasn’t she?

By Friday my mouth hurt so badly it made my face hurt.  I could not wash my face or clean my nose without yelping OUCH!  The places where I’d felt the zingers were burned the worst.  By night time, the white skin was peeling off and clinging to my teeth like pus. I was scared and not really sure what to do.

Early Saturday morning, I drove at top speed to the nearest emergency room.  I was given painkillers, anti-inflammatorys and antibiotics.  My mouth had been severely burned.  I was told to put KY jelly in my mouth for quick relief until the pills kicked in.   The painkiller, lidocaine is in the jelly.  Who knew?  I sucked on KY jelly until the cows came home. Thanks to the hospital, I’m no longer in hell.