Gay Independence Day

My sister said this to me.  “You hate men and you are always trying to force your gayness on us.  Your other two sisters think the same way about you.”

Today was the fourth of July and the date of our family reunion and I didn’t go.  My family  thinks it’s because I don’t love them enough.  Instead, I spent the day with three lesbian friends, having dinner and being accepted just as I am.  A person who wasn’t  a shadow of herself.  A person who shared aspects of her life even though it included *gasp* gay people.  A person know by many as somebody good and decent – instead of that ugly thing the church whispers in my family’s ears.

My  sister responded in this way because I informed her that our niece, Cathy had told me she was gay.  This niece is presently attending a religious school, in the closet, and is surrounded by other religious closeted people who behave in atrociously unhealthy ways, including violence.  Besides wanting to show her gay people who don’t t live as if they’re abominations, I was glad of the opportunity to share of myself with a family member. 

I told my sister I would let my niece accompany me to a few upscale places, thinking it was a good thing.  The amount of nasty  that came heaving out of her mouth surprised me.  She claimed she was only being honest.  Her words: “Cathy is lying.  She is not gay and is only saying that because she knows that you are and wants to get attention.”  This was followed by words that meant that I would apparently teach my niece to hate men and force being a lesbian on her.

To say her words hurt is an understatement.

Today was Gay Independence Day from my family.  There will be no more longing for what will never be.

The Michael Key

At the time of Micheal’s TV appearance, I was his age, growing up in a small southern town and bumping against rigid racial rules about how the world should operate.  When little Michael and his brothers appeared on TV it was as if a magic wand had been waved.  Every black child I knew got an instantaneous injection of pride.  The feeling that has nothing to do with family and everything to do with being seen through a different lens.   His fame has never been only about the music.  Michael was the key that opened doors that were previously locked tight.  He is/was a history key.

Deepak Chopra has written a tribute to Michael here.

Here, There, Misogyny Everywhere!

I stumbled across Unapologetic Feminist via Twitter and am glad that I did. *whispers* I didn’t see any value in Twitter before this, so I guess I’m changing my mind.  Check out the movie clip I viewed on her site.

 

For further information, click here.

How do you feel about the portrayal of women in TV, magazines and music?  Are you offended or do you think its no big deal?

The N Word – From The Mouth Of Babes

Ok, I cheated and took a hiatus break.  I just saw a youtube video on facebook posted by (C. Towns) and had to share it.  The little boy in the video is absolutely fantastic.  I wish his thoughts would seep into the heads of the people writing song lyrics and do some house cleaning.  Without further ado, may I present Jonathan McCoy.

What do you think about what he said?  Did his age make a difference in how you received the information?

Cheers.

I’m Still On Planet Earth

In case you’re all worried, I’m alive and kicking.  I’m in the midst of two things right now.

1. My bathroom ceilings in my Atlanta place have water damage and mold.  The leak is coming from somewhere in the building and hasn’t been found.  So far, the condo management contact person has done next to nothing to remedy the problem – so I go from being in a rage and sending out massive emails with repair demands to being so stressed out, l I disassociate and go to bed.  This doesn’t happen all the time, but hey, it is a part of my reality.  I’ve also had to postpone my flight back to London and had to purchase/pay for a new airline ticket.  Management sitting on their laurels is costing me a truck load of money.  If they haven’t found the source of the leaks into my ceilings by my new departure date, I don’t really know what to do.  If anyone has dealt with this type of problem and can advise, please do.  Thanks.

2. I am 155 pages behind on my novel edits. *toothy, ferocious snarl*  When I’m not doing drama about those damn moldy ceilings, I’m reading and re-writing.  Can you believe that I’m 155 pages behind?  I can’t and it’s somebody else’s fault. *shakes fist at the air*

 I was trying to catch up on all the TV shows I hadn’t seen since  living in London – while my house rotted and my work went undone.   Since the switch from digital to analog TV, my rabbit ears and I been cut out of the media loop.  Innocent rabbit ears have been discriminated against. *sniffle*   This has forced me to focus my noggin on something else, like editing.   Anyhoo, I’m glad to be getting back on track.  Until I get 155 pages done of re-phrasing, adding words in, taking words out, washing my thumbs,etc – I will be on a blogging hiatus.  Wish me luck.  Cheers.

SteadyCat

California Supreme Court Upholds Proposition 8

Moments ago, the California Supreme Court announced its deeply disappointing decision to uphold Proposition 8.

From The Courage Campaign

While we are pleased that the court recognized the legal marriages of the 18,000 same-sex couples married in 2008, we are saddened by the Prop 8 decision.

But we don’t have time to mourn the failure of the state court to restore marriage equality to California.

It’s time to go on offense. To be fearless in our fight for equality. Starting right now:  Go to Courage Campaign.

I’m in Atlanta right now and a rally is planned from 5:30pm to 10pm at Piedmont Park.  More protests will be happening throughout the nation.  

Thanks to Betty Couvertier for this link.

Ellen DeGeneres Danced In The Superdome

Tulane University’s class or 2009 graduated on Saturday, May 16th at 9a.m. and my nephew was one of them.  The commencement ceremony was held in the Superdome, yes the very same Superdome that housed people during the devastating events caused by Katrina.

The ceremony started with New Orleans jazz being played.  WOW!  Talk about authenticity. 

The commencement speaker was Ellen DeGeneres, that famous, good looking lesbian that has won 12 Emmys, has an award winning TV show and is also the new face of Covergirl Cosmetics.  She married the actress, Portia de Rossi.  That’s the Ellen I’m talking about.  She can now add receiving the President’s Medal from Tulane to her list of accolades.

Because I was sitting in the nose bleed section, I couldn’t run over and ask what she Portia and I were doing later – but it did cross my mind.  I even told my family not to wait up, just in case. HA!

I am very proud of my nephew who graduated from the School of Public Health and Tropical Medicine. When he was about three, I videotaped him studying ants.  He loved learning about nature and how things developed, even at that age. 

Thanks Ellen for making A’s graduation the best one I’ve ever attended.  It was good to be a lesbian on May 16th in the New Orleans Superdome.

PS. The lovely Harry Connick Jr. was there as well.

 

1×6 Discussion

It’s a 1×6 Wednesday! Every other Wednesday, 6 very different bloggers will come together to answer a single question. The 1×6 group consists of: Aricia, BWABW, Glennisha Morgan, SteadyCat, and StudWithSwag.

This week’s question: How do you feel about corrective rapes in South Africa? What are the human rights consequences?  Please visit Aricia’s Fatal Attraction to join the discussion. 

Keeping Up With An 18 Year Old w/Photos

My 18 year old niece is visiting me in London and I’m quite pleased.  Though I have lived in Europe for many years, I have never been visited by any family members, ever. Maybe it’s because I didn’t invite them or maybe Georgia is just too beautiful to leave for longer than a day?  Which was okey dokey with me and probably them  as well …  but every now and then I wondered what it was like to  feel tightly connected to a family while living without one. 

On her first day, I cooked, we went walking and then to a movie.  The second day, she went out shopping for make up, fingernail polish,and people watching with BD while I worked on my deadline.  Today jet lag caught up with her and she slept all day.  When she awakened, I took her to eat delicious Thai cuisine.  Tommorrow we’ll do an all day marathon of things on her list.  She has set the alarm clock so we can start bright and early.   We have been talking about the  many different languages  being spoken and the foods  - just in my neighborhood. She is very innocent and sweet but a lot more worldly than I’d expected.  I don’t know when she became this way because I’ve rarely spent any time with her. 

I didn’t think I would enjoy myself so much, but I am.  I just wanted everyone to know.  Cheers.

PS.  She doesn’t know I have a blog, but since I’m an adult, I’m entitled to a few secrets.

P.P.S.  I have added photos of things she/we’ve seen.  My feet hurt.  The End.

The end of a touristy day.

1×6: Why are the transgendered taboo?

Topic: Why are the transgendered taboo? Why they are looked down upon?   

The 1×6 group is ABrownGirl, Aricia, BWABW, GlennishaMorgan, SteadyCat, and StudWithSwag, who come together every other Wednesday to answer one  question(s).

To 1×6:  Keep it clean even if you strongly disagree.  I don’t won’t any blood on my SoapBox.

Viewer comments are welcomed.

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ABrownGirl:  I believe that most people don’t understand what it means to be transgendered. I  cannot imagine what it’s like to be inside a body that I hated. A body that I felt did  not truly represent who I am. A body that made society believe something about me  that wasn’t actually true. 

The majority of the transgendered community suffers with Gender Identity Disorder.  Yes, it is a mental condition, just like being bi-polar. It’s not a lifestyle they have  chosen, just like no one chose to be gay. 

It’s not something many people talk about, including those that suffer with the disorder. Quite possibly it is because we don’t know enough to really have an  intelligent discussion. The pyschological community isn’t really talking about the  results of their research. We don’t hear much in the news about transgendered rights.  And often times is hard to even spot a transgendered person. 

I think the transgendered community is looked down upon because there are people  out there that don’t understand them. There are people that believe they are being  deceived if they are being involved in a romantic relationship with a transgendered  individual. There are other people that don’t understand that it can be more  complicated than a man simply putting on a dress. 

While I’ve seen TransAmerica and Boy’s Don’t Cry, I didn’t truly understand what it meant to be transgendered until I met someone who was transgendered. That’s when it becomes real…

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Aricia:  On this topic, I must say I’m a little disgusted. Although I’ve never understood the whole “I’m a woman trapped in a man’s body” mantra I don’t feel like its right for others to knock it. It all comes down to personal preference to me. 

How can people who are discriminated against for sleeping with the same sex then turn and dislike the transgendered? That’s jus absurd to me. I don’t personally feel like I was born the wrong sex, but I sympathize with those that do. Who the hell is perfect enough to knock someone elses choices?? 

I think they’re taboo because people are jus haters and love to pick out the flaws in others. If people want to change their sex and it ultimately makes them happy I say more power to them. 

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BWABW:  People who look down on transgender individuals generally equate sex with gender when one is biological and the other is a social construction. My understanding of transgender people is that one’s sex does not align with one’s gender identity. Those who choose to transition and get gender reassignment surgery are aligning the physical with the psychological, emotional, spiritual, etc. A lot of the discrimination (and often times disgust) directed towards trans people comes from a place of ignorance. People fear what they don’t understand. They want things to fit neatly into a box. So a person with muscular legs, broad shoulders, and a five o’clock shadow in a dress is labeled “freaky” or “gross.” 
I won’t pretend to completely understand trans identity, but I completely respect others’ right to pursue a happy, healthy life. I used to question if being transgender is a “disorder” (many people do refer to it as this) and still wonder if it is society’s emphasis on genitalia (I mean, the first thing we scream when a baby is born is “It’s a boy!” or “It’s a girl!”) that pressures people who don’t identify as male or female to conform physically to what that societal prescriptions say a male and female should look/walk/sound like. If being born with a penis or a pussy was just as important/unimportant as being born with attached or unattached earlobes, then would transgender identities even exist? Or what if there was no such thing as masculine or feminine…would the physical still not align with the mental/emotional/spiritual/etc.? This is by no means an effort to trivialize trans identity or say that it is only mental. It’s me seeking a deeper understanding. Then again, there are stories of men and women who felt they were in the “wrong” body from childhood—way before gender norms have really begun to set in. 

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Glennisha Morgan:  To be honest I don’t think  I can pinpoint exactly why the transgendered are taboo and looked down upon but, I have an idea.The transgendered as well as everyone else who is a part of the LGBT community are looked down upon because they’re misunderstood and or not understood at all. I think out of everyone the transgendered are probably the most misunderstood.I think where the most confusion takes place is when transgendered are post-op and they date someone of the sex that they turned into. 

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StudWithSwag:  The transgendered are taboo because they deviate from the “normalcy” that gays and lesbians have been trying to project. They do not adhere to the norms of homosexuality, bisexuality, or heterosexuality because they have an actual diagnosed condition that they may or may not get medically corrected at some point in life. Homosexuality was once diagnosed in the DSM as a disorder as well, but it is no longer, however transgender remains a medical disorder and condition. Those affected believe there is something wrong with their gender, which includes their sexuality and this viewpoint is in stark contrast to what most homosexuals believe. After the surgery, they can finally be comfortable in their own body and live their lives as straight, gay or bisexual. Many change their names and can get legally married in most states. I believe the taboo is that they are considered odd by society because they are so uncomfortable in their own skin that they will willingly undergo a transformation. Most people can’t understand this, yet gays are still inclusive because they are similar to us in their sexual orientations. A lot of times they are involved in same sex relationships prior to or after a change, so this is considered strange by society as well. It’s a physical difference compared to a sexual one and they have a hard enough time trying to accept homosexuality.

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SteadyCat:  When I was around ten and visiting cousins that lived in Florida, our group of girls and boys from the neighborhood went walking. Further up the road, a boy about fifteen had on hot pants, a short shirt so that his midriff was revealed and make up. That is exactly how many teen girls dressed at the time.  My older male cousin (Richard) and his friends picked up bricks and started throwing. When the largest brick barely missed the boy’s head, he took off running and screaming.  Everyone in the group laughed but me.  Richard is now a minister in his own church.

Churches, schools, families, entertainment and politics have taught a model that they claim reflects morality/Godliness.  It must have a man as head of a household, a woman as his helper and hordes of children. He has both sex and power over. The model we’re being indoctrinated with is patriarchy at its finest.  According to dictionary.com, patriarchy’s chief institution is the family. It is both a mirror of and a connection with the larger society; a patriarchal unit within a patriarchal whole. 

In church I was taught that the immoral/ungodly must be eradicated or Satan would take over. Gays are thought to fit this picture of ungodliness but the transgendered person becomes an even bigger target. (Unless they have sneaked into the club without being noticed. In that case, they get perks). The correction for the simple minded becomes – in order to save God, my family and my status – I must destroy the ungodly.

Ask your church going family, friends and politicians what they think about the transgendered and why. Ask the relative that watches televangelist programming what they think about the transgendered and why. It will probably all boil down to the myth of the ungodly.  Patriarchy depends on it.

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The next 1×6 will be held on May 13 at  Aricia,

The Question: What do you think about corrective rape in South Africa and its human rights consequences?

Thank you for stopping by SteadyCat’s SoapBox and checking out 1×6.